This small fish shack is one of those places in Ibiza that you only know about because a friend who has been coming to the island for 5+ years discovered it whilst daring a random dirt road one day.

So I’m saving you five years and a bust tyre by telling you about it now.

Past the blinding white sun beds of Blue Marlin, up along the winding road of villa-upon-villa driveways to an intersection where you face a brick wall, take a left at the Carni de Porroig 1. Greeted by a stunning climbing wall of all-shades-of-pink Bougainvillier, follow the road to the end and take the steep dirt road that leads to a quiet cove and the local fish shack - Es Xarcu.

Beach front table at Es Xarcu

Flex your Spanish skills here, for the staff are only local yet the menus are also translated in English and German.

It is one of the only restaurants that is allowed to serve ‘raors’ - little goldfish that live in between the waters of Ibiza and Formentera. To preserve their numbers, only a certain amount of restaurants are allowed to serve them.

Crispy raors with lemon

Pimientos del Padron are also a specialty of the island, but every year their hotness ranges from pop-more-in-the-mouth mild to save-the-tongue-with-aioli hot! Here they are smaller compared to the giants served down at neighbouring Yemanja.

Pimientos del Padron

The fish here is cooked in two ways - in the oven with a tasty glaze of olive oil mixed with lemon, or baked in salt. We take a feisty sized Denton fish in the olive-lemon sauce. The fish is succulent and has a particular flavour that hits the senses.

Denton fish baked in olive oil-lemon sauce, served with house made potato chips

The quiet beach adjacent to the restaurant is perfect for lazy lunch digestion. Sunbeds, strategically placed to catch the rays of sun at each hour of the day come complete with a palm umbrella. 

Es Xarcu beach

Entrance of Es Xarcu

Bookings advised in July and August.

Es Xarcu

Cala Es Xarco, Porroig , Sant Josep, Eivissa

+34 971 187 867

www.esxarcu.com

1. Hold her hand at any moment.

2. Kiss her on the forehead/neck.

3. Leave her voice messages to wake up to.

4. When she is upset, hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you.

5. Recognise the small things. They usually mean the most.

6. Write her little notes.

7. Introduce her to family and friends as your girlfriend. Not your chick.

8. Play with her hair.

9. Let her fall asleep in your arms.

10. Give her piggyback rides.

11. Bring her flowers.

12. Treat her the same around your friends as you do when you are alone.

13. Look into her eyes and smile.

14. Let her take as many pictures of you as she wants.

15. Kiss her in the rain.

16. Walk with her - don’t charge in front or dawdle behind.

17. If you’re talking to another girl, introduce her and include her in the conversation. Let them know she’s yours and they aren’t.

18. Always call her when you say you will.

19. Let her wear you t-shirt, hoodie or sweatshirt. It’ll be the thing she wears the most.

20. If you are in love with her - TELL her.

After a brisk walk along the sunny Ses Salines beaches and across the rocky cliff between Chiringay and Sa Trinxa it was time for breakfast. My Ibiza partner in crime, Brazilian Goddess and I completed that last stretch of sand in record time as the carrot, in the form of Passion shake, dangled in front of us.

Passion Cafe Ibiza, the hub of all yummy things healthy on the white isle. I discovered this place last year thanks to Techno Pocahontas. Since Ibiza closed, I’ve attempted to replicate the raw chocolate shakes with crunch cacao nibs or raw flaxseed sandwiches with sprouts and organic hummus.

We start off with the prized carrot - a Passion protein shake. Lana Love, the owner and health nut of the cafe, greets us with a welcome back. She also is the creator of Techno Pocahontas’ birthday cake, a scrumptious raw chocolate and goji berri cake made of brazil nuts and all things healthy and nice. It was so big it took us weeks to finish, a pleasant snack after a session with Luciano or Cocoon.

Brazilian Goddess takes the Ultimate Smoothie - a blend of acai, banana, maca powder, blueberry, almonds made creamy with rice and coconut milk.

Ultimate Smoothie €8.50

As if there wasn’t already a few minutes of head scratching, pondering the large menu, another chalk board has been added of treats - new shakes, granolas…even raw pancakes. Lana suggests I try the new Peaches and Cream, so I do.

Peaches and Cream €8.50

Such a silky, subtle blend of peaches, banana, vanilla, homemade raw almond milk, almond butter and cinnamon. All the flavours tickle the taste buds in their own way, it’s almost like a dessert.

Because Brazilian Goddess and I share a what will one day be a cavity ridden sweet tooth, we read each others minds and agree to share the raw pancakes.

Raw Pancakes €10.50

Three small pancakes of a brazil nut and flaxseed mixture, smothered in cashew butter and topped with mango, strawberries and a strawberry sauce. Delish. Divine. We want more.

But remembering that we went for a walk and not a run, we stop ourselves, clean the plate and bid farewell.

Passion Cafe interior

Passion Cafe, Playa den Bossa

http://www.passion-ibiza.com/

Four hours of shopping is approximately 360 calories burned.

Then somewhere three quarters of the the way, your growling stomach starts to tempt the senses into stopping at the many, strategically placed cafes and snack stops in the shopping centres. 

Do you spoil that workout with an impulsive break?

That apple was never packed because you were already at the shops when you remembered to pack it.

So basically, you are left with either an angry lion of a mood or forced to nibble on a calorie loaded blueberry muffin or cream cheese carrot cake washed down with a cafe late.

Out the window goes the pleasant workout.

But hold up, some folks have come up with a solution. Kirrily Johnston and the people at Special K have invented a bag, with a snack pouch. Yes, you read right. A snack pouch. This acts as a visual cue so that you prepare yourself for that looming moment, the snack attack. Which, just to put things in perspective, happens to 96% of women.

Might seem ludicrous but the point is that with this little red bag women are encouraged to snack properly - rather than stock up on quick fixes when the shopping marathon munchies hit, or when out and about in general.

Visual cues have long been used in teaching children and adults anything from maths to languages. The message is encoded in a source and through association, two thoughts are connected in the mind. So long as you see the snack pouch - placed on the outside of the bag and difficult to miss, your mind has programmed that this is your cue to prepare for the inevitable.

You might snigger but well, I don’t see that Balenciaga Motorcycle bag telling you to organise your snacking schedule.

Those keen to enter the draw for one of the limited edition handbags can do so here .

Happy healthy shopping!