A lazy lunch date with the divine Miss T at the scrumptious miss chu. AKA rice paper roll mecca. Oh which glutinous treat to indulge in today. We peruse over the paper ‘entry visa’ menu as saliva gathered, sweat dripped and the queue grew. Tiger prawn & green mango roll ($6.50 for two) and a serving of scallop & prawn dumpling ($5 for three) grabbed my taste buds. Miss T took the Also on offer were coconut crushies ($5.50) with a variety of flavour additions. We both went for the lychee & cumcumber.

‘Njeeexxt!!’ a rather invasive shrill disturbs my peace. I look for the creature that could possibly be emitting such noise pollution. Gaaah…the mistress herself. She has one hand juggling two phones, another on the cash register and a snarl to run a mile from. Her bossy boots snapping reminds me of the big fat headmistress from ‘Matilda’. You know the one that makes the fat boy eat sweaty chocolate cake cake. The one that breathes through her nostrils so heavily cause her neck is so fat and is choking her breathing passages…yeh well her. But a skinnier version. And shorter. She’s so angry I’m scared to make eye contact with her jet black eyes. Just in case she sends me to the shoe box kitchen and makes me steam dumplings till I’ve lost 3 kilos from the sauna effect.

I sit and wait patiently. Thankfully service is quick despite the bulging queue and pre-orders. Our treats arrive. My crushie does not. Baa humbug. I get up to politely inquire. 

‘If it’s not in the bag it means you didn’t order it. Njjeeexxxt!!’ A suit is sent back following his complaint.

I sit back down. The crushie can wait.

The steamed dumplings comfort me. They sit in a pool of sauce, chewy and delicious. They’re gone in 5 seconds. With still no sign of the crushie, I start the paper rolls. It always amazes me just how much filling miss chu is able to pack into that fragile, transparent rice paper. No skimping here, the filling remains true to its description from one rolled up end to the other. There’s also a selection of salads, steamed buns and meals such as snapper with rice for the hunger hunters. All at a cheap as chips price.

Just as I dive into the last paper roll, remaining impressively compliant to my new years resolution of ‘Count to ten…ten…TEN’ (partly cause it’s way too damn hot to complain) my crushie is stuck out the window and waved for my collection! I sprint past the queue before the decorative lychee falls off.

Shhhllluuuuurrrrpp! Oh my. That is good. A shot of Malibu would have done fantastically had we been closer to 6pm….

We leave miss chu just as a swarm of school girls descends on the tuckshop. Content with our lunch, a little miffed at the rude service but with a recipe idea for lychee/coconut/cucumber/Malibu crushies, nevertheless another descent at the eatery will most probably take place.

Get there before the queues to avoid Nazism.